Fight For A Graveyard
by Dajypop
Summary: Anders couldn't help but feel guilty as he fell in love with Ethan, but he couldn't keep longing for a dead man. Mhanders and Kanders mentioned.


**Title:** Fight For A Graveyard  
 **Author:** Daisy  
 **Fandom:** Dragon Age  
 **Setting:** Kirkwall  
 **Pairing:** Anders/Karl Thekla, Anders/Ethan Hawke  
 **Characters:** Anders, Karl Thekla, Ethan Hawke, Varric Tethras, Carver Hawke  
 **Genre:** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Chapters:** 1/1  
 **Word Count:** 543  
 **Type of Work:** One-Shot  
 **Status:** Complete  
 **Warnings:** Yaoi, Gay, Slash, Canon Character Death, Mentions of depression, Anders-Centric  
 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.  
 **Summary:** Anders couldn't help but feel guilty as he fell in love with Ethan, but he couldn't keep longing for a dead man

 **AN:** Alright, today's been kind of an iffy day, so I decided to write my feelings. xD I plan on working on a Fenthan (Fenris/Ethan) fic and finishing it. I've had it sitting for a while. xD Anyway, here's this.

 **Fight For A Graveyard** ****

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It was kind of funny, Anders thought dismally, that it always seemed to rain after a tragedy affected someone. Varric wrote of it in his stories, that after the hero fell, the sky would weep for them, it made things more dramatic if the entire scene was involved. Walking from the Chantry steps, Ethan, his brother, and Varric trailing after him, he couldn't hear their words. In fact, all he could hear was the loud slap of water as it poured from the sky, the crack of thunder, and it seemed so deafening that everything around him was drowned out. Karl's dying words replayed in his head, bouncing around his skull until it hurt, and with the water falling in cold sheets above him, he only realized that he was crying with the warm burn of tears slipped down his cheeks.

The discussion with Hawke left him thinking aloud as he worked with a family of refugees, humming something to himself that he remembered from his childhood when he worried his words would be too telling. As darkness fell on Kirkwall and his allegiance was pledged, he found himself looking up, where he hoped Karl had gone to the Maker's side.

"You have a strange sense of humor." Part of him wasn't sure if he was talking to Karl or the Maker, himself, but there it was.

After three years of running around with Hawke, eating with him, laughing with him, joking with him, having him help in the clinic… It was hard to get those beautiful aquamarine eyes out of his head, the feel of those strong arms around him when he worked himself to near-death, the rich scent of spice and dog that he'd come to love. Everything about Ethan Hawke had consumed him, and he found himself shooting a prayer to the ceiling of the clinic after his preoccupation left.

"I can't spend my life wanting you to come back. I know that. You'd want me happy, wouldn't you, Karl?" He chuckled, perhaps a big self-deprecatingly, "He sure does remind me of us, back in the tower. Young, rambunctious, driven, passionate… And now I've taken your role. I think I've dropped the ball on being fatherly, though." This time, it was a bit of a scoff with a fond smile that left him in the quiet of his sanctuary, "I can't fight for a graveyard, but I can fight for life. Not just mine, but his, and every other mage in Thedas. And to do that, I know I need him on my side. I love you, Karl. I will always love you. But it's time for me to open up my heart to another."

That night, he appeared in the Hawke manor, heart bubbling with excitement and body prickled with anticipation. He was a live wire, and Ethan was only tempting him further with his 'I love you's and those kisses he would beg for if he had to. Love poured from his heart, an overflowing fountain of desire and need that he hadn't noticed was so intense before. Everything he'd had had died with Karl, he had thought, but Ethan reminded him that he was only human, and he needed the comfort. And, boy, was Ethan's comfort good.

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 **AN:** I really needed this, I think. It's short, it's probably too short, but… Well, I guess it works. I can't always figure out how to deal with things. My chest has hurt all night...


End file.
